The Lonely
by Greengirl17
Summary: "Broken pieces of a barely breathing story.  Where there once was love. Now there's only me and the lonely. Dancing slowly in an empty room. Can the lonely take the place of you?"/warnings inside/SONGFIC


**The Lonely**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _**Just something that I wrote while I had a burst of low-self esteem today. :(. But, at least fanfiction always makes me feel better. But listening to "The Lonely" by Christina Perri probably didn't help, even though my low self-esteem wasn't from a romance.**_

**DISCLAIMER:_ I do not own Big Time Rush, "You're Not Alone" by Big Time Rush, or "The Lonely" by Christina Perri_**

**WARNINGS:_ Contains sexual references and sexual noises(kind of)_**

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><p><em>2am; where do I begin?<em>

_Crying off my face again._

_The silent sound of loneliness_

_Wants to follow me to bed._

He's so near to me, only a room away. I cry silently, not wanting to wake up my brother and his friends. The sound of my silent tears tries to follow me, as I attempt to drift into sleep, a sleep where I can escape this and be numb. Let my subconscious take over, let go of myself.

_I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most._

I want to be happy. I want to be with him. I want us to lose our virginity to each other, and be together forever.

_I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well._

I used to be a fun-loving, scheming girl. I used to be ambitious, wanting to take over Hollywood. I probably still could if I tried, but do I even care enough anymore? Do I value myself enough to try? Or has he crushed my ambition?

_Dancing slowly in an empty room,_

_Can the lonely take the place of you?_

I stand, giving up sleep, knowing that it will never come. Tears slide down my cheeks as I dance, holding my arms as if he is there, our bodies moving in synch. I walk slowly and close my eyes, imaging his smiling face in front of mine, love and joy radiating off of him. I try to spin myself, as he would spin me in our ballroom dance, but it feels awkward. Like something is missing. And something is. The other half to my whole, my love and my happiness.

_I sing myself a quiet lullaby._

_Let you go and let the lonely in_

_To take my heart again._

I fall back onto my bed, gasping for breath as I hear it. A moan. Coming from his room. "You're not alone, girl." I sing, tears stinging my eyes, as I pretend that he is singing to me. "Cause you're not alone, girl. Look over your shoulder. You don't have to wander. Cause you know, you know, you know. You're not alone, girl. I'll be there to hold you. I'll stay till it's over. You gotta believe in me. Even if you can't see me there. I'll catch you when you fall. Cause I've been right there. For every minute. This time, it's no different." A thump against the wall. Another, another, another… "But it is different." I whisper to myself, feeling my heart shatter.

_Too afraid to go inside_

_For the pain of one more loveless night._

I find myself standing at his door, my fist hovering above the thin slab of wood that separates them from me. I see the light flickering underneath the door, and find myself wishing that it was me. I let out a shaky breath and close my eyes, hoping that I can just forget. But instead, I am bombarded with images of them.

"_Stop!_" I think, biting my lip to keep myself from screaming. I taste blood as the thumps get louder.

_But the loneliness will stay with me_

_And hold me til I fall asleep._

I scream silently, feeling myself sink to the floor.

_I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most._

_I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well._

I feel myself slipping into unconsciousness as the thumps get more constant, then stop all together. I think that I hear them screaming, until I realise that it's me.

"_I am alone._" I think, finally fading. Finally escaping.

_Broken pieces of_

_A barely breathing story_

_Where there once was love_

_Now there's only me and the lonely._

_Dancing slowly in an empty room_

_Can the lonely take the place of you?_

_I sing myself a quiet lullaby_

_Let you go and let the lonely in_

_To take my heart again._

**A/N:**_ **Good? Bad? Please review! It'll really cheer up my day! And by the way, who do you think Katie is talking about? James, Logan, or Carlos?  
>P.S-This is a oneshot, but if anyone wants to adopt it, PM me <strong>_


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